The Evil Overlord List
by CaeruleaFairyDust
Summary: Lord Voldemort is undoubtedly the most Evil Evil Overlord ever. Unfortunately for him, he almost continually breaks the Evil Overlord List. Is all hope lost for the Dark One? Will Harry Potter triumph in the end? And what to the twins have to do with it?
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own the Harry Potter series. This is probably a good thing.

Disclaimer 2: _This __**Evil Overlord List**__ is Copyright 1996-1997 by Peter you enjoy it, feel free to pass it along or post it anywhere, provided that (1) it is not altered in any way, and (2) this copyright notice is attached. _

Does splitting it up into chapters count as 'altering'? Naw...

**The Evil Overlord List**

**Or The Many Adventures of Harry and Lots of Other People (Mostly Voldemort)**

1. My Legions of Terror will have helmets with clear Plexiglas visors, not face-concealing ones.

_(Harry sneaks into a Death Eater meeting by wearing a Death Eater mask...)_

Harry Potter- Spymaster Extraordinaire!- followed Snape into the dimly lit throne room. Flickering candles, strange creatures depicted in painting and statue, and several giant chandeliers all added to the ambiance of EVIL!

"When you are caught," Snape murmured, "I will dance on your grave."

"If I'm caught," the disguised hero replied, "I dare say you will be to. Thus! No grave dancing for you."

Snape was about to reply, when-

"MY MINIONS!"- Lord Voldemort's shout echoed through the room.

The snake-like Dark Lord surveyed his servants as they quickly took up position. Masked and covered in black, they were truly beings to be feared. Voldemort felt so proud.

His Inner Circle stepped forward, arcing in front of the throne where Lord Voldemort sat. (Actually, NAGINI was sitting in the throne. Lord Voldemort was standing.)

There was Lucius, Bella, Nott, Severus, Potter, Avery... wait _POTTER!_

Lord Voldemort froze and stared, certain that this was some sort of joke. The Lestrange brothers had been known to pull some. But no. There Potter stood, bold as brass, wearing one of his Death Eater's mask and robes.

But there was no mistaking that hair. Or those eyes. Very green, those eyes.

With a calm flick of his wand Potter was bound and gagged where he stood.

"Ah, Missster Potter," Lord Voldemort hissed, "did you think that such a puny disguise would fool ME?"

_(...and gets caught.)_

A.N.

Strangely enough, I haven't seen this idea yet. Fitting each point of the Evil Overlord List into the Harry Potter Universe, I mean. After all, Voldemort is SO MUCH a Dark Lord...

I have ten more chapters already written- I wanted to see what the response was before writing any more. My brother likes it though, so that's something.

If anyone has any ideas for scenarios that our Dear Dark Lord can cook up, or mess up, drop me a line. If it fits (even vaguely) into one of the Evil Overlord List things-not-to-do, the I'll definitely consider it. And note that #1-12 (except #3 which I accidentally skipped) are already either planned out or written.

~Caerea

05/15/10

Next installment: either tomorrow or the next day.


	2. Chapter 2

_This __**Evil Overlord List**__ is Copyright 1996-1997 by Peter Anspach. If you enjoy it, feel free to pass it along or post it anywhere, provided that (1) it is not altered in any way, and (2) this copyright notice is attached._

2) My ventilation ducts will be too small to crawl through.

_(Harry gets stuck in a ventilation duct while escaping the dungeon...)_

"Well, as dungeons go, it's not bad."

"Shut up, Potter."

"Really, the mold could be worse, the bed has a mattress, and we have a chamber pot! What more could we need?"

"You to shut up. And it is not a mattress, it is straw."

"I've slept on worse."

Silence.

"Snape?"

"Snape?"

"Are you still alive? Don't go into the light!"

"Sna-"

"Shut. UP. Potter."

"Shutting up."

The two prisoners sat in silence. One on the moldy straw, the other on the moldy floor. A soft hum filled the air, and a breeze blew through the already cold dungeon.

"It's even got air conditioning!"

"Potter. If you do not Shut! Up! I will kill you before the Dark Lord decides to do so."

"Ummm, yessir. Sorry. Don't see why your so upset."

"If it hadn't been for your appallingly stupid plan to follow me to a meeting in full Death Eater garb- without so much as a glamour!- we would not be in this mess."

"It works in the movies."

"..."

"You are even more of an imbecile than I originally thought."

Three Hours Later.

The air conditioning suddenly cut off. Harry, who had been wishing for that for hours, sighed in relief. Then, an odd look crossed his face.

He stood up on the bed he'd been sitting on and eyed the ventilation duct that had been steadily blowing out freezing cold air for three hour straight. It was big, wide, and perfect.

"I'm an idiot," he stated.

"I'm glad you agree with me," Snape replied.

Harry just shook his head. Then he calmly began to pry off the lid of the duct using only his finger nails. Snape soon caught on.

An indeterminable amount of time later, both boy and man sported bloody nails. But the lid was off.

Snape gave Harry a boost and they began to crawl.

More time passed, and still they crawled.

Still crawling.

Crawling.

Still.

"I'm stuck."

"No, you are not."

"Yeah, I am. Can't move forward. The tube gets reeealy small ahead."

Severus Snape was having a Bad Day. He was in a Mood. He felt it was justified.

First, Potter had enacted a stupid plan. Second, as a direct consequence of the first, Potter had gotten himself captured and his (Snape's) cover blown. Third, they had been thrown in the dungeon to sweat (or rather, shiver) while Voldemort fixed up the torture chamber to his liking. Fourth, Potter had annoyed him, enough said. Fifth, his knees and back hurt horribly from all the crawling.

He was hardly going to let a little thing like Potter being stuck deter him from a long soak in his special bath filled with customized soothing potions (ahh, bliss...). No! Give me bath or give me death!

With that, Snape grabbed onto Potter's legs and apparated right through the wards.

_(...and still manages to escape, blast him!)_

AN

I decided to go ahead and post what I have of these- namely one through nine minus three which I accidentally skipped. I looked them over, but not super well, so be wary (not weary, weary means tired- wary means on the look out- think beware or aware. I hate it when authors get those mixed up…) there will probably be mistakes.


End file.
